खोये रिश्ते ||

बचपन की गलियां छूट जाती हैं

पर दिल की कलिया खिलती रहती हैं |

तुम रहे ना हमारे साथ 

फिर भी रहे इस दिल में |

खुशियां हो या घम
याद रहते है तुम हर दम |

आँखों में है इंतज़ार उस दिन का
जब गूंजेंगे हसी दिल से |
होगा यह  दिन मिलन का
हमारी तुम्हारी और खुशियों की || 

A pappadam memory

It was the day of Thiruvonam. Everyone in my family was at the table, ready to have theirsadya. I was the only one not interested in having my sadya. I was waiting for someone so eagerly and he was late unlike other onam days. Everyone asked me to start my lunch but I was adamant. I would only have my lunch when he comes and sits with me. Seeing my stubbornness, everyone else also waited. After some time he came. As soon as I saw him, my face brightened. He came and sat in the seat next to me and all of us started our Onasadya. As soon as I started having my lunch, i noticed that mypappadam were disappearing. Everytime I kept a new pappadam, it went missing. Then I caught the culprit red-handed. It was him. Sitting beside me, he could do it very easily. Then I fought with him as usual. Its been over 10 years since this day but it is still afresh in my mind. And one thing i realize is that it is not the sadya or anything else that I miss a lot but its him- his presence, his pranks, his love. And now whenever I eat a pappadam, its always him that I think of. I really miss you my dear uncle......

Memory never moves on.....

Some things you see around takes you back to memories you wanted to leave behind. Today was such a day for me. Happened to read an article in a magazine about a once famous person's struggle with a deadly disease and how he won the war with fate just with the support of his love! After reading the article I thought the man must be born lucky coz he survived in spite of his family n friends leaving him all alone and that he manages to stay positive to his life even though he was pulled down from the heaven to the bottom of hell. But not everyone is lucky as him. There are people whose beloveds are so caring and does anything and everything crazy and out of the world just to get their loved one back to life but ends up paying their last tribute to them sometimes unable to even shed tears for them. But the memories never leave them and they do yearn always for the long lost love.

Death never takes a person but it takes the love of many, the hopes of many and many souls are frozen. The vacuum it leaves stays forever and it cannot be healed with time. Any person claiming to have seen a ghost is a victim of this emptiness. The feel of a loved spirit beside you can be so energising and refreshing to your wounded soul that you wish you could stay forever with the spirit of your loved ones. But alas! The memories are the only left-overs.

The dear ones I lost were when I was in my school days. Two departing one after another shook me from head to toe and left me paralysed. I never realised how much these two deaths affected me until recently when I got to know that I no more felt anything even when a death of really close friend or relative was told to me. All I felt was numbness. On hearing a death, my first reaction earlier was a shock followed by a series of questions and then moving to a lonely place and crying my heart out. But now, its just an "oh! thats sad".

I thought my emotions dried up but for the article I read today I felt all those lost emotions rushing back to me like a hungry lion pouncing upon a helpless deer. I had never felt so lost, so lonely for the past 3 years. Now I know, I realise how much the departed means......

beloved

woh hawa ka jhoka jo tumhari aahat sunati hain,
woh laharein jisme tumhari awaaz samayi hain,
woh baharein jinme tumhari hasi chupi hain,
yaad aate ho tum mujhe har lamha
ab rahe na mera dil tanha

tum hi zindagi ki dhoop ho
tum hi ho chaya
meri zindagi ki har panha
mein hein likha tumhara naam......

FEAR AND PRAYER

I knew I didn't like darkness but I never realized I was so scared of darkness until last week. The power went off at 12 midnight one day and as is my "latest routine", I sleep very late usually by 12 or 1 and even on that day I was up late. I was about to go to bed after switching off the television when suddenly the power went off and I started getting a feeling that someone is beside me, just like they feel in movies. And, to add to my fear, every dog in our locality started barking and howling. However, my fear lessened when I held the small Lord Krishna's idol, which I always carry with me, close to my heart. But more than the Bad Spirits Roaming thought, I was afraid if some thieves broke into our house. These thoughts gave me the idea that I heard footsteps in the hall and also the sound of someone breathing hard. The next thing I knew was that I was on my bed, holding my Lord Krishna in my hands tightly and praying for the power to come and Whoa!! The power came :). I got out of the bed, switched off the lights I had left on before the power went and crawled back to bed as swiftly as possible but the fear left so much an impact that I had to plug in my mobile headphones and had to hold my Lord Krishna even more tightly to get some sleep. Still, I thank god for not scaring me for long...........

MISS YOU FRIEND

A humble try on poetry
please do leave your suggestions as comments

In a Night so quiet,
At a place so Beautiful,
You will take me along,
Away from The World's sight.

Pain and Sorrow however might
make me Weak,
You will take me along,
To a Better place.

A hope so Bright,
An unexpected Gift,
Oh! My dearest Friend,
You are the Light of my Life.....

Memory forever.....

School days are one of the most memorable days of most of our lives. Even my school days were the best until my 10th standard. Everyday was worth cherishing, specially 9th and 10th classes. Our class was a united class where there were no gang fights, no separate thought, no differences. But one fine morning, as three of us, Heera, Hari and me, were talking, another one of my friend, Razee came in and called Hari and went to a side. They talked to each other for a moment and after a few seconds Hari came to us and continued talking but he seemed a bit annoyed. When we enquired what the problem was, he said there is nothing but while we were talking, he asked both of us if we said any of our class matters to our juniors and both of us said "no". The topic ended there. But from that day on all boys of our class stopped talking to us. First none of us girls noticed it but later this grew into a class division - boys on a side and girls on another. If someone from the boys' side cracked a joke, girls never responded and if someone from the girls' side cracked a joke, boys never responded. This went on for about two weeks. Then we decided to take the first step to solve this. One day when we got a free time we called Deepak, one of our classmates who actually didn't have a problem talking to us, and asked him what was all this about and why were all other boys angry with us. He said he didn't know really what the problem was but seeing our frustrated faces another one of our friends, SP (Sanjay) told us that he didn't know exactly what had happened but from what he knew the real problem was that someone from among us (girls, of course) had spread our class secret to our juniors and they were taunting Razee. BREAKING NEWS!!! Now, none of us had said anything to anyone and we were all the more confused. After SP left, we kept asking each other what was this all about.
So you must be wondering what is all this "secret" about? Well, it so happened that our class boys had found a pair for most of our classmates as they were jobless. This had been done while we were in the 6th or 7th and none of us girls had any clue about this until finally in 8th when they started teasing their friends with their respective girl "pair". After getting to know who was paired with whom, we girls also were not ready to give up. We retained some of the pairs and created some new ourselves too. And, sincerely speaking, all of enjoyed teasing each other and there were no issues regarding this but it was not meant to leave the classroom. Now, while we were thinking hard as in who would be the traitor in our class, there enters our messenger Deepak with the whole story. And after listening to the whole saga, nearly all of us got a heart attack and I was among the first who got it. Reason??? I was named the traitor. The story was that I had told my friends in the school bus to tease Razee with one of my friends and this spread on so much that nearly half the school is behind him, pulling his leg. Even though at first this came as a shock to me, the next moment I found it funny as I didn't know myself that I had told something like this to anyone. But even though we tried convincing the boys, they never listened. Slowly, I started feeling bad that unknowingly I had been the reason for a fight in our class. But my friends stood by me and then came our "middle man", Sachin, who was neither interested in the fight nor the reason behind it. I had spoken to him about the matter in detail as he had missed many things due to his sports practice and he agreed to solve it once he comes for the Christmas celebration..... It was our Christmas day celebration and while the whole school was enjoying, there was utter silence in our class. It was then Sachin came and sat on a desk where all girls were standing as a group as if ready to pounce. He called the attention of all boys and asked loudly to me if I had committed such a big "crime" and I replied "NO". He asked the boys if they had some problem with us and they said they didn't. Next he asked us and we also said we didn't have any and never had before too. He shrugged his shoulders and said "This was all? The problem is solved". All of us stood blinking our eyes thinking "Was this so simple?" Thinking of this now, it seems so meaningless, funny and silly but it has always remained an unerasable memory of my school days. They say it right - people may change, feelings may change, surrounding may change but memories always remain static.